"If it's not fun, why do it?" - Jerry Greenfield.
Quoting co-founder of Ben & Jerry's. It's was one of my greatest lessons working for Ben & Jerry's, if it's not fun, why do it? I think about it often - maybe not as much as I should, though.
This picture is deceiving! Why? Because I look so excited to run! The truth is I was excited to be back with NERC, running on a Tuesday with the best crew. But just a half mile after this picture, I was defeated. Defeated by my legs and the exhaustion I was feeling in my runs lately. The pressure was mounting to keep going on in training, to get the miles in, all in hopes it would click and I'd feel GREAT!
So while I hate running, it should still remain fun. I love the community I have found, I love crushing goals, chasing PRs, and all the things about post-race glory. But lately, it's not been fun. It's been miserable, it's been painful, it's been everything it shouldn't be. Training for my second half-marathon has been downright dreadful and discouraging. Isn't that exact opposite feeling I should be after? Sure is....
It's with that exact thought, this exact phrase that I am deciding my second half-marathon won't happen November 22. So yes, I started this blog to share my journey through training for TWO 2020 half-marathons and neither will happen. Life be like that sometimes!
There is a very small piece of me feeling guilty for "quitting.' And I can't decide if it's truly quitting or just listening to my body. See, a year ago training was hard as hell, but I actually enjoyed the journey. It all came together on race day and that feeling cannot be duplicated. But as a competitive person, I don't think I can allow myself to run a distance knowing full-well it won't come near that feeling. Of course every race is not the same, it's not always a PR day, but do I want to fall so short? Hell no.
Since I made this decision, I've feel free! And that's exactly how I want to feel. I don't NEED the pressure to complete a race, but rather I need to find the fun in the journey. Nothing should take away from your joy. It's not that I don't want to do a half-marathon, it's that my body isn't with it and mentally is was draining me. The (self-inflicted) pressure was too much to bear that I need to step back, reevaluate my goals. I may not be a half-marathoner, and that's more than okay. I do know that I am in doing this to feel good, strong, and healthy - both mentally and physically.
And guess what? I feel amazing! This body is doing all it's can to keep me going day in and day out in this crazy world. And I know it'll be ready for another half-marathon one day. To be determined on when that will be, but I am confident it'll come. I won't rush the process for myself. My body will tell me when it's time, then I'll be ready to crush the distance with ease.
"Your body is like quiet talker with the most important thing to say."
The thing is we constantly are chasing goals that sometimes we ignore the quiet voice of our body. It's easy to get wrapped up in others telling you to keep going, your mind telling you it's all mental, but sometimes your body starts to SCREAM at you so you listen. Don't let it to get to screaming at you! Listen closely to that quiet voice when it talks. There you'll learn the difference in your physical strength versus your mental strength. You will be able to differentiate each voice with ease, allowing yourself to go further and crush all the goals.
So here I am ready to keep moving forward without the pressure of a race, learning to find the joy in the run, and enjoying the most badass community running has given me. Because, remember it should be fun.
Next up: NERCnar with Team #SQUAD
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