Run Anxiety

Because it’s a thing.

Even if it’s rarely talked about or written about doesn’t mean running anxiety isn’t real. Seriously, Google it...all the articles talk about running to relieve anxiety, not what to do when running triggers your anxiety. I did find ONE blog discussing it, however. & shit, did I relate hard!

A few nights ago I prepared myself for a 10k run the next morning. I ate a good dinner, hydrated all day, and even laid my clothes out. I was prepared so I couldn’t find an excuse to not show up - I mean I did tell 2 friends I’d be there. And I truly wanted the accountability. I went to bed early in hopes of a good night’s sleep and fell asleep easily. But then 1:30 a.m. rolled around, I woke up. For the next two hours, I tossed and turned. My brain wouldn’t shut off. And this time the brain was just thinking nonstop about the run. About 3:30 rolled around, I looked up at my ceiling with tears rolling and said out loud to myself - well and my passed out dog next to me - “This is anxiety.”

And in the middle of the night, I began a Google search. Low & behold mostly everything written is about how running relives anxiety or dealing with race day anxiety. But only one blog post about exercise and running being the trigger.

So at 3:30 a.m. I texted one friend that I couldn’t go. I said running is triggering my anxiety. And instant relief. I fell asleep not long after.

In the days since, I taken time off. And I mean time off - no running, no yoga, no cycle...just walking. Just maybe I needed a full recovery. A full recovery both mentally & physically.

So how did it go? Pure relief. I didn’t feel stressed or worried about getting a workout/run in. But let’s face it, a few days off won’t fix the motivation. It’s a good start, though.

Here’s where I started ... I’m at #3, the rest is to be determined

1. Take the time to listen to your mind & body

2. A few days off will not ruin the process, in fact it might kickstart even more

3. Find the joy - when it feels like a chore you won’t reap the full benefits of a killer workout.

4. To Be Determined ....

As the week moved on, I got back into my groove. I didn’t go into the workout with expectations, just to get after it. A few cycle classes, more walks, a short run. Then today, I woke up and crushed a track workout. Exactly one week after I laid awake dreading a run. It was progress not perfection. And that’s all I can ask of myself.

Sometimes you have give yourself grace...even if you’re 9 weeks from race day. Because a huge part of the training cycle is the mental training. If I’m not mentally prepared, nothing I do physically will matter. So Rock N Roll may not pretty but it’s more important to get myself mentally trained up this summer so I can confidently tackle it. It was never going to be a PR race and now it’ll be get to the finish line in one piece - both in body and head. (because November’s race is my PR goal race...and I MUST be more than prepared to toe the line.)

I do not have all the answers. And I may not ever. But know this, if you’re struggling to get through your runs...you’re not alone. Run anxiety is real, very real. However, it will not last forever. Keep after it, listen to your body and your mind, and the results be worth the struggle.